Five steps to conquer your inner-critic, boost your confidence, and thrive with an abundance of self-love.
You suck at that.
Oh my gosh you look so ugly
Wow you really messed up
Don’t do that, everyone is going to think you’re weird!
I don’t know about you, but my inner-critic can be a real b*tch sometimes. Just bringing negativity every day. I’ve struggled with it for YEARS. I started to believe all my doubts and let my inner-critic keep me from being myself. It wasn’t until I went to counseling when I realized “hey, maybe my inner critic can work in my favor.”
It was a process to take the power away from the negative voice in the back of my head but I figured out how to listen and let go of those criticisms and channel my doubts and insecurities into game-changers.
Want to give it a shot? Here’s the step-by-step process on how to kill your inner-critic and silence your self-doubts.
Think About When Your Inner Critic Is Loudest
The first step is being mindful of when your inner-critic likes to make their appearance and what may be triggering them to come out.
Ask yourself these questions:
Are there certain people who bring the negativity out of me?
Are there other problems in my life that I haven’t addressed?
When my inner-critic is yelling at me, I like to pull out the note section on my phone and jot down my answers to these questions. Take a section to assess your surroundings and be mindful of when your self-doubt likes to make itself known. You’ll likely start to see a pattern form.
Give Your Inner-Critic Your Attention (briefly)
Don’t ignore your inner-critic. Don’t shush her or shove her back into the corner of your mind.
With a cautious ear, let your inner-critic give her two cents.
Note: you don’t have to believe or trust your inner-critic, you just have to let it do its thing for a minute or two.
Suppressing those thoughts are only going to make them louder in the long run.
In the past, I used to try to ignore my inner-critic, drown her out with busy-work and denial. But when I started to listen, I started to understand what issues I needed to address in my life.
Thank your inner-critic for their concern
A counselor once told me that our inner-critics just want to protect us.
Doesn’t sound right, huh? Especially when your inner-critic is the biggest bully in your life.
But think about WHY your inner-critic was created in the first place.
Maybe your inner-critic protected you from getting hurt.
Maybe it helped you avoid disappointment or failure.
Maybe your inner-critic wanted to keep you safe and happy.
Although your inner-critic may have overstepped their bounds, don’t overlook their good intentions.
Replace the negative thought with a positive one
Redirect your mind from self-doubt to self-love.
Here are a few examples:
- I’m afraid that I’m unprepared for this interview BUT I’m going to focus on my qualifications and skills instead of on my nerves.
- Instead of thinking about how I can royally screw up, I’m going to imagine all the ways this can go right.
- This is the only life I have and the only body I have- I’m going to give it as much love and appreciation as I can right now.
Tell your inner-critic that you are capable of handling any obstacles you’re facing.
Remind your inner voice it that other peoples’ opinions don’t matter.
Think about similar experiences in your past where things turned out better than what your inner-critic led you to believe.
Remember that you have so much more power and poise than your inner-critic.
Let go of the negative thought and move forward
*Cue the infamous Frozen song
The last step of the process is to dismiss your inner voice and keep moving.
Easier said than done, I know. It takes time to completely let go of criticism and self-doubt. It’s a skill you’ve got to keep working on every day.
One simple way I like to practice this concept is by imagining my negative thoughts being written on a piece of paper- all the smudges and frowny-face doodles included. Then I imagine ripping the paper up to dust and watching it disappear in the wind. Gone.
It’s all about being intentional and making the effort to move forward with your day despite the doubt. Your inner voice has only the power you give it.
Hate to break it to you, but your inner-critic is going to be there every step of the way through your journey of self-acceptance.
Make peace with your inner-critic, but don’t give it the satisfaction of derailing your life.
Want a little reminder? Pin this image for later!
Have any tips on how you’ve conquered your critic? Let me know in the comments below.
Like this article? Read How To Un-Hate Your Body: The No B.S. Path to Self-Acceptance.
And share your self-love journey along with me on Instagram @LavenderLifeblog.